Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
