oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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