dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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