Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
