As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
