me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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