Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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