just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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