mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
