is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
