So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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