Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
