he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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