At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize