Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Panties = found
Randomize
