worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
