Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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