pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
