I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
