don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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