She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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