Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
