shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
