she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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