i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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