just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
