I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
