We named our party play list daddy issues
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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