So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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