Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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