Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
