My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
