Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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