I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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