if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
