Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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