i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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