chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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