the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
