too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
