You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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