Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
