is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
