May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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