i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off