you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
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Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall