i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
