I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you win again, gameday.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my poor anus
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
