i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
