You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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