if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
