lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
