I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize