I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
