She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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