i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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