is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
People in love make me want to vomit
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
