Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
