I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
