STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
