your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
