I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
