he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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