She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
