We won't sleep together?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
