you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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