i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
